Eurovision 2025 late hot takes

Eurovision 2025 happened, some dude from Austria won with an operatic boating song or something like that, whatever. Here are my approximately 10 hot takes that have gotten cold by now.

Last year’s factory-churned hit from the millionth botox-bore Sabrina Carpenter has nothing on Tommy Cash. That’s how you do a coffee-themed song!
Espresso Macchiato forever!
Israel can fuck off with their vote manipulation and propaganda. Getting pretty tired of their shit. How many times are we going to get some chick singing about how hard it is to have a war back home? Your country is the oppressor, bitch… You should get kicked out just like those Russian cunts.
Switzerland had a killer stage. I don’t know if that square frame did some holographic magic or it was live CGI but, from a technical point of view, it was amazing.
Too bad their song was a big serving of turd! Zero points, you lose, good day!
Woo! Germany rocking out and not getting last place for once.
UK trying to lose with a song that has no beginning, middle or end. Did Brexit manage to kick out all the good bands?
Any Eurovision bingo card should have the “blonde girl with her ass out” square. Since I only watch the finals I expected Malta (as they do that every year) and Spain, but not Finland. I’m glad I was doing bingo cards and not a drinking game, or I would have been out!
Still not over Joost and Baby Lasagna.
Adding Moroccanoil to my “Never Buy” list of brands. Not that I would have touched that overpriced crap in the first place.
I actually liked Iceland’s entry, a no-fuss dance and seashanty hit. The wrong boat got on top, I tell ya.
San Marino, you don’t get points for simping unless you’re Moldova talking about unifying with Romania.
No offense, Lithuania, but that milquetoast song I had forgotten after 5 seconds was weak and we should have had Laika Party or Milkshake man in the final.

My top songs:

Estonia 🇪🇪 – Tommy Cash – Espresso Macchiato
I’ve been humming this song every time I made an espresso in the past 10 days.

Germany 🇩🇪 – Abor & Tynna – Baller
I just love a good techno-electronic-pop banger. Right into my current playlist you go!

Luxembourg 🇱🇺 – Laura Thorn – La Poupée Monte Le Son
Because I’m a sucker for cheesy French pop songs.

Italy 🇮🇹 – Lucio Corsi – Volevo Essere Un Duro
It’s very much appreciated that Italy sends whatever they like, even if it’s a song with low chances like this classic rock ballad. Beautiful nonetheless.