Seb's Web

Since I’ve turned 33 recently, I thought I’d lay out some thoughts, if not in pen and paper, then at least here as a random piece. This isn’t too well thought out so I wouldn’t call it wisdom or anything else, just a few scraps since it’s a round-ish number. It’s a Jesus age, a halfway-to-retirement age, a decent “you better start getting your shit together age”, it’s the position of Arsenic in the periodic table, or, to be closer to my hipster-ish nature, the number of rotations a good vinyl LP has. Well, it’s a number. And this is a list:

1. Never say no to a toilet.
   That’s good advice at any age, to go everywhere on an empty bladder instead or risking to use a sub-par or (shudders) public toilet.
2. When in doubt, buy the pretty one.
   If you’re getting yourself a new toy, like if you’re starting out a new hobby like photography or guitar or watercolour, buy yourself the pretty thing. If you’re like me and you’ve spent some time narrowing down the “thing” by specs and quality and reviews, you’re probably left with a few choices. Get yourself the one your eyes like as well; it will make you pick it up more often or, if nothing else, you’ll have a prettier decoration on the shelf if you stop using it as much.
3. Take care of your teeth.
   Your organs will react quicker if mistreated, but you’ll find out how bad you’ve treated your teeth only when it’s too late.
4. “Content” is infinite, so be picky.
   I have a pet peeve about the word content since it’s just a catch-all term for entertainment that’s now including art-forms like books or movies. I’m begrudgingly using it to make a point – it’s infinite since our time is limited. You’ll never read all the books, watch all the movies and TV series, catch-up on your YouTube “Watch Later” or listen to all the stuff you’ve saved. So at least be picky about it and don’t bother with another “tier list” or “reaction” video.
5. Drink more water.
   Tap is probably fine, just hydrate.
6. If the app has a roulette, you should drop that app.
   Considering apps for pharmacies or stores are including roulettes… It’s a sign that company is dogshit.
7. Don’t avoid boredom.
   I won’t… bore you… with the research that says you should allow yourself to be bored for mental health and creativity… I mean specifically those five minutes when you’re waiting for a bus, you’re in line at the supermarket, in an elevator, in a cab… Just because you’re standing still for a moment, don’t use it to turn on the phone. Let your brain go idle for a bit, see what happens. “Shower thoughts” aren’t just for the shower, that’s just the last place you’re not yet bringing your phone with you.
8. First smell is what others smell.
   Smell your home when you first get in the door. Smell the shirt before you wear it. The first smell is what others smell (while you get used to it).
9. You can say no to a drink
   Maybe it’s an Eastern-European thing where you gotta have a drink with everything. Coming from or going somewhere? Starting or ending a meal? Just hanging out? Let me fix you a drink. What’s your poison? Palinka, whiskey? Some wine? Oh but you haven’t had *this* wine. I’ll fix you up with a spritzer so you can drink two.
   Yikes… I’m not a drinker, and two beers are enough to get me plastered for the evening, so I feel the social pressure… But I don’t feel bad saying no. It’ll just go to waste and I won’t have a better time.
10. Don’t skimp on your undergarments.
    I mean your socks and underwear (and bras if you wear them). You never know when you’ll have to take off your shoes (out of politeness), your shirt (for a good time) or your pants (for an emergency).
11. It’s bait, a robot, or both. Don’t engage.
    How many times have you gone on the internet and saw either a ridiculous premise in a post or a dubious title, an unhinged comment or… simply something just slightly askew to warrant a correction? Probably every day. It can simply be someone pronouncing “Churchill” as “Chur-hill”. It’s just how the internet is, baiting you in spending more time on it viewing, rewinding, commenting, correcting, engaging. Don’t do it; even if it’s not a bot, 90% of the time it’s intentional, the rest of the time it’s… also not worth the effort.
12. Just avoid social media entirely, honestly.
    I quit pretty much everything five years ago and I haven’t missed it once. I’m still in touch with the people who matter, dad still sends me old memes and updates on hiw cats, I’m still aware of what’s going on… and I’m not constantly exposed to ads, rage-bait, slop and other kinds of brain rot.
13. Don’t tip.
    Americans, look away, but you’ve forced this culture on the rest of the world and we’re not going to take it. If I’m tapping my card and someone’s turning that POS to ask me to tip, I’ll look them in the eye while selecting zero. I don’t feel bad about it, they should feel bad for the audacity.
14. Widen your definition of spam.
    Spam is not just the fake email from the Nigerian prince (shout-out to Adebayo). It’s anything forced upon you – the flier shoved in your hand, the emotionally charged notification Duolingo sends you, the ad disguised as a post, the AI pop-up every software and platform now pushes in your face… Once you expand your definition, you’ll see how pervasive spam actually is and how everything around you tries to just get your money and attention. At least my man Adebayo was polite about it.
15. Paper matters.
    I mean that in all the ways you can interpret it. Books are better for your mind than the other kind of media. Writing your thoughts down is better than typing it. You remember things better when you put the pen on paper. And paper matters most when you’re getting a new notebook.
    If gazettes were still a thing I’d trade most of my internet time for newspapers and magazines.
16. Coffee or tea? Get good stuff and make it well.
    No matter what your choice is, if you’re brewing daily, get quality stuff, and obviously not Nestle. And don’t hurry making it. Often-times the ritual is more important than the cup itself, especially if it’s shared with someone.
17. Keep a small pocket knife on your keychain.
    I like a good EDC kit, but most often the only thing you need is a small Swiss tool. The things I most often find I need is a bottle opener, a small knife, a corkscrew, or a nail file / cutter. Pay attention to those moments and choose your tool.
18. Don’t trust people who don’t like cats.
    I don’t mean everyone should like cats or own cats, to each their own… But every. single. person. I encountered who mentioned they don’t like cats was either emotionally immature or a shitty person in general. Easy litmus test for people.
19. Avoid uncurious people.
    Similar to the previous one. It’s something that goes hand in hand with wilful ignorance and bad faith. Just yuck.
20. Good art is better the more you bring to it.
21. Time flows slower when doing new and challenging things.
    A week spent in your routine will pass by quickly, but the only antidote is challenging yourself with new or hard things – hobbies, activities, challenges. You’d be surprised how accurate your internal clock can be when you’re not doing the same thing everyday.
22. Invest in shoes, mattresses and tires.
    If you’re really wearing them, you don’t want them to wear (on) you.
23. Only you are interested in hearing about your dreams.
    If you’re really going to talk about a dream, it better be good.
24. Don’t finish bad books.
    As Zappa allegedly said: “So many books, so little time.” Well, drop the boring book, pick up another. Same goes for other things. I for one dropped “Stranger Things” after Season 1 and “House of Cards” after season 2, each one should have ended there, and I saw no point in continuing.
25. Better to half-ass it than not do it at all.
    Good rule of thumb for a lot of things, like this post.
26. Put in the work.
    Having said the previous, I’d say to stick to it if it’s worth it. Drop a bad book, but put in the work if you’re taking on something like “War and Peace”. Generally a good advice that I don’t take enough.
27. Listen to the whole album.
    Probably less relevant in today’s music business, but if you like and respect an artist, give the album a listen from start to finish. It’s always a better experience.
28. Get a bidet.
    Bi-dey to you, Sir, and thank me later.
29. Steal like an artist.
    You’ll make it your own while working on it anyway.
30. Vote with your wallet.
    Your wallet has power, so boycott Nestle if you can, pirate stuff when you feel the corporations are screwing you, cancel that membership, avoid that store and so on. Pay only for what you feel offers back.
31. Everything in moderation, except for moderation.
32. Make your own stuff, don’t just consume others’.
    Valid for a lot of things, from food to art.
33. Don’t give unsolicited advice.
    Nobody will listen to it if they didn’t ask for it. Because unsolicited means spam. 🙂